I get this question a lot
In a recent interview, I was asked about what I do as a coach, and I realized that maybe you might not be clear yourself on what exactly I do. Given that, I’m sharing a glimpse into pieces what I talked about in the interview (plus a bit extra that I’ve added now to give more detail and context), since I think it may be helpful to explain if you haven’t worked with me at this point!
Side note: I’ll share the link to the rest of the interview once it’s released (should be sometime this month, I believe!). But for now, to answer the question about what I do as a life coach…
It’s a great question, because life coaching can mean so many things to different people, and while that’s a beautiful thing, it can also leave people feeling confused about what kinds of things you’d bring to a coach vs. a therapist vs. someone else entirely.
That being said, I can only speak to the kind of coaching that I do personally: I work with people who feel *stuck*. So many of us hustle through our lives, endlessly running on the metaphorical treadmill, for many reasons: to prove our worth, to feel important, to fit in, to be liked, to be the person we believe we *need to be* or *should be* in the world / family / job, to pay the bills, etc.
However, so many of us, like myself, reach a breaking point. A point where you’re just freaking exhausted by this. It’s that moment of surrender. Of ‘yes, I want to be accepted and loved and happy and safe, but I absolutely know deep down inside of me that I most definitely also can’t continue to live this way.’ The word ‘miserable’ is commonly used.
For many people who find themselves in this place, they may first correlate this to their careers, and work is a big piece of it all, but it’s not just about work. A lot of people assume the ‘hustle’ is strictly career-related, and while that was a big part for me as well, it tends to go much deeper.
For me, hustling was a way of life. Some mix of: believing exhaustion + stress + ‘busyness’ were proof of how hard I worked, having low self-esteem, needing to constantly be a people-pleaser + prove myself, finding new ways to improve myself no matter how good things were… you get the idea – I was busting my ass to seem ‘perfect’ essentially. You know, the idea of fitting in + being socially accepted but being the “best, most impressive” person fitting in (can I get a LOL?), just acing my way through life.
But what I realized at a certain point is that all I was doing was trying to control how others perceived me. I already knew I wasn’t perfect, but it was the fear of everyone else finding out that freaked me out. Once I recognized that and came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t control how others viewed me, literally no matter how much or how little I did or how exactly I spent my time or looked, it was a game-changer.
With the people I’ve had the pleasure of coaching, we talk about ways to escape the many forms of hustle in life, including: body image, career, and relationships (not just romantic, but friends, family, co-workers + the communication and boundary skills related to that). As I’m sure you can imagine, all areas of our lives are interconnected, so it’s just a matter of which door you want to open first – we’ll likely get to the others at some point 😉
Specific results can differ from client-to-client, but to sum it up, it’s about experiencing freedom. It’s letting your soul have a say in shaping your life and reconnecting with your body, no longer living ‘from the neck up’. It’s broadening your perspective of what is possible in life, and beginning to believe that you are worthy enough of deserving all of that. It’s doing what you want and being who you are because we NEED that person in the world, not the one you are pretending (and exhausting yourself) to be.
In concrete terms to help further explain, this could look like: making career shifts, building confidence + courage to make big life changes, speaking up and making one’s voice heard, lessening the need for approval from family and friends in regard to your life/decisions, the ability to make decisions more easily + deepen connection to one’s body (those two are linked!), alchemizing poor body image into a greater sense of self-awareness and love, improving communication in relationships, releasing the need for control, building self-trust, improving self-worth + self-image, etc. Lots of goodness… 🙂
As for logistics: essentially the way I work with a client is that we have a free 30 minute consultation to discuss where they are on the journey of life, where they would like to be/work toward, and what’s getting in the way. If after speaking, we decide to work together, then we start our formal coaching relationship!
Coaching at its bare bones, most basic explanation is simply a way for us to remove all those obstacles and overcome the challenges getting in the way of achieving whatever it is that we desire.
It’s about removing all the “yeah, but” phrases. Yeah, I want to leave my job, but… Yeah, I know I should love my body more, but… Yeah, I would love to take off time to travel, but… Yeah, I know my friends treat my like crap, but… Yeah, I know I should speak up, but… And on and on. (OK, not gonna lie, just totally laughed typing ‘but(t)’ that many times – yes, life coaching is also allowed to be silly sometimes 🙂 )
I meet with clients weekly with the option to meet over Skype, on the phone, or in person. Some weeks, depending on what we discussed during the session, I’ll give clients an exercise (not the gym kind) or things to do in between sessions because the truth is that a lot of the magic and shifts happen in the other 6 days and 23 hours we’re not talking each week, not just the ~1 hour coaching call.
The coaching call is the spark, but it is the client’s responsibility to stoke the proverbial fire during the week because the truth is that as much as I love working together, I eventually would like my clients to feel ready to do it on their own! My goal is not to make people dependent on my help. It’s to support them through the times help is needed and allow them to carry on, knowing I (and other people who can help in other ways) am/are there to assist in the future again if needed.
That’s about as much ‘logistical detail’ I can give because I don’t follow a specific ‘formula’ for every person; I adapt my approach depending on the client, their specific set of challenges and goals, and just the day/week that they are having at the time.
If this sounds like something you or someone you know would benefit from, or if you are inspired to study to become a coach yourself, I’m glad I was able to provide some clarity and insight for you 🙂
That being said, I’m always happy to get on the phone for a free 30 minute consultation to talk more and see if we’re a good fit for one another. Don’t hesitate to send me a note via the ‘Contact’ page if that’s the case – I look forward to speaking with you !
As always, feel free to share this with anyone who may find it helpful, and I look forward to hearing how it helps you!
P.S. If you need some help with this (or other related topics) and are interested in possibly working together, click the ‘Contact’ link above or leave a comment below!