[[Heads up, you’ll want to read this until the end. There’s an offer I’ve never made before that I think you’ll just LOVE <3]]
I’ve been putting off writing this for about 2 weeks now.
I knew that I would write what I’m about to say, but I couldn’t seem to carve out the ‘when’ piece. You know, a chunk of time to really just sit and write.
And to be clear it’s not because I ‘haven’t had the time’ or because I ‘didn’t know what to say’.
>> It’s because while I was excited to share this, a part of me was afraid.
>> It’s because while I felt confident in the change itself, a part of me felt at somewhat of a loss for words to describe it.
>> It’s because while I know that I love to write, a part of me put a lot of pressure on myself to convey my message ‘perfectly’; I was afraid that whatever I wrote wouldn’t be ‘enough’.
But I can’t stop thinking about it. Almost every day lately, I woke up saying ‘Today is going to be ‘the day’. The day that I share my message’, but my simultaneous excitement and fear was splitting my energy into two.
I had one foot in each commitment. A commitment to stepping into this new direction and making – what is so clearly – my next move, but also in a commitment to being afraid and self-critical in delivering my message.
This energy divide even left me with a nice little head cold for a couple of days during the last two weeks — which often happens when I’m avoiding coming out and fully speaking my truth — a reminder that “the only way through is through, my dear Ryann”.
And last Monday morning, when I finally started sitting down to begin writing this, the tarot card that I pulled contained a message about secrecy and the need for me to share whatever ‘secret’ that I’m keeping.
At first, I was offended. I immediately thought of ‘secret’ in the bad sense: deceptive, malicious, lying… And I thought ‘Me? Keeping a secret?! No I’m not!’ *enter hands on hips*
But then I took a pause and a deep breath, and I knew.
I knew that I needed to stop hiding. Here I was in my own little world (i.e., my mind) excited about living this new truth, but I wasn’t coming forth with it to any of you, so I wasn’t serving, and what’s the point of shifting the direction of my service if I’m not actually using it to serve anyone?
So I’m coming out now with something I’ve had inside for a while now…
My coaching is beginning to slightly shift directions, and is heading in a powerful direction that lights me up, and I feel fully confident is SO needed in this world.
Up until now, I was largely working with people looking to leave the corporate world to help them gain clarity and confidence to shift directions toward something they are more passionate about. And while I truly DO love this kind of work, I recently had the realization that I was also hiding in plain sight.
I remembered that the very reason I began coaching was because I wanted to help women to come home to their bodies + to themselves, to stop filling their minds with thoughts all day about all of the expectations they need to meet, and instead, to start freeing themselves to be who they truly are. To experience pleasure. To see their bodies as their greatest allies rather than enemy #1. To know that it is their birthright to feel at home in their bodies and that they are much more than flesh and bone to carry their intellect around. Our bodies are so. much. more.
This is my purest desire, motivated by nothing but love.
But I was afraid.
And feeling ‘not enough’.
And ‘effort-ing’ way too much.
And building my business out of the pressures of existing within a largely patriarchal society.
And believing that too many others who are more ‘established’ than me were ‘already doing that’.
And convincing myself that my voice wasn’t needed (nor was it helpful) in the conversation.
I’m a privileged in almost every sense of the word and live a life surrounded by people who support and love me and would have my back any day of the week. What do I have to say that would be useful?! Yeah..I’ll just stick with something else…
But that’s missing the whole point (!!) These things don’t mean I’m not allowed to serve others in this way, it just means that there are certain conversations and spaces and ways in which others’ voices are in greater need of elevation and recognition than my own. That doesn’t mean I stay silent about an issue that I’m *full-body passionate* about. It means I find (and most definitely take up) space in the appropriate conversations and arenas and help those who I am best positioned to help, to support, to elevate. There’s plenty of room for all of us to have a positive impact on the world.
And while I totally AM super passionate about helping people to move in the direction of a career they love, I have known all along that my Divine mission in this lifetime on earth is something else. Yes, career is a part of the equation! But it doesn’t stop there.
When I first started my coaching practice, everyone told me I needed to ‘niche’ down to make my offerings more clear to people who might want to work with me, and while I resisted doing so like the plague (I wanted to help EVERYONE!), I eventually made a choice.
And something I’ve learned more and more about lately is that it is important to make a choice and start taking action. But beyond that, it’s important to also remember that you can 100% reserve the right to change your mind once that choice is made. There is no rule saying that you must adamantly stick with that choice forever. Rather, you can make the choice that feels right in this moment, and then use discernment in each step along that journey to determine if and when to shift course.
There’s much less panic and stress involved in making decisions when you commit to this approach, an approach that asks you to remain present. If you remain present, not only are you more aware of what your gut is suggesting you do now, but you can make a decision knowing that you’ll be constantly aware of any need to shift directions in the future.
Decisions tend to feel more overwhelming when we freak out about the choices in front of us and either freeze in ‘analysis paralysis’, never taking action, and/or when we just jump into the next decision without checking in with ourselves, covering our eyes and hoping we land on our feet. This approach doesn’t ask us to take ownership of the direction of our lives, nor does it help us feel empowered with the knowledge and confidence that we can always choose differently next time.
It comes down to asking yourself to make a choice and take action so that you can learn more about yourself, others, the world. It’s knowing that once the choice is made, you have the freedom to say ‘let’s do more of this’, ‘let’s never do this again’, or ‘let’s do something similar but slightly different’.
In yoga class last week, my teacher mentioned the concept that it’s not important what path we are on but how we take our steps.
Mid-flow, my mind was like *WHOA*.
We get so focused on choosing the right path and being on that path and staying on that path, but the thing is, that it’s not the path. It’s never the path.
The right path for you could be in the corporate world or as a spiritual teacher in Bali or traveling the world as a global nomad or being stay-at-home parent or whatever combination of things suits you best! Because…
It’s not the path you’re on. It’s why and how you step.
Each day, we step. We walk a little further down the path of life. We continue our journey.
And the challenge is that we get SO focused on which path we’re on because we want it to be the ‘right’ one. But there is no ‘right’ one. We all have unique desires and dreams and goals and preferences.
Some people tell me things along the lines of ‘Good for you loving coaching because while it sounds awesome, I would never do that!’ and that’s cool. In fact, that’s great! It means they know what they do and don’t like and can serve our world and live their lives in a way that brings them joy.
My sister is a nurse. I feel the same way about her job. I am so super grateful people like her exist and play the role that they do in this world, and I admire her immensely for it. That being said, being a nurse is pretty far down on my list of ‘dream career’ options.
I don’t think everyone should want to be a coach or a doctor or a lawyer or fashion designer or accountant or any one specific thing. Rather, I believe what matters more is not seeking the ‘right’ path but understanding why and how you’re stepping wherever you are right now.
I took a lot of steps on my path because I was afraid. Because I wanted to feel safe and loved and accepted and good enough, and I thought that doing and being all ‘those things’ people told me I should do or be would get me there. Of course, this is not to shame myself in the past. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I wasn’t aware.
But as soon as I became aware, I realized that I no longer wanted to ‘step’ in that way. So I began stepping differently.
I began to step with faith, passion, and desire. I began to step with trust. I began to step with authenticity + vulnerability. I knew that I was safe, loved, accepted, and good enough…already.
And once I knew that was true, I could ask myself ‘If I know all of that to be true, what will I do? How will I choose to step?’
That small shift allowed be to begin stepping toward the things and people and places and energy states that lit me up and away from the things that didn’t. Instead of stepping out of fear or self-doubt or panic, I began to ask myself how I can cultivate joy and pleasure and presence and connection (and anything else I desired) in each moment and action I took.
My steps have led me to where I am today and all the places I’ve been before that. And while sometimes I still slip into fear and panic and stress and the well-worn story of not feeling ‘good enough’, it doesn’t happen nearly as often and each ‘episode’ of spiraling downward is often much more brief.
That being said, no matter what field of work we’re in or how we spend our time during each sacred day on earth, it is not what we are doing that is paramount, rather it is how and why we are doing it.
Does it light you up?
Does it feel true to you?
Is it intentional or mindless?
Is it based in faith + love or fear + doubt?
Is it truly what you want or what someone else wants for you?
Do you look forward to each day?
Are you living mostly in the present or do you focus more on the past and/or future?
My point being, is that as I was stepping along my journey, while I was stepping closer in the direction of what lit me up, at a certain point, all signs pointed toward slightly shifting course. And in this case, not shifting course would have come from old fears that used to keep me playing small. It would have come from “What will everyone think?”, “Others will judge me”, “I’ll never make money doing that”, or “I’m not experienced enough” or something along those lines.
So for me, it’s not that I consider this direction any better or worse than any other, rather it is that I see it as the direction that currently lights me up, and I invite you to live your life doing the same. Forget everyone else for a minute…what lights YOU up? How are you stepping in your life right now? And why?
And as I ask myself that question and think about what lights me up, what I believe, and what I stand for as a coach, this is some of what comes to mind:
- Women are powerful, wise, and magical
- Women have been asked to play small for hundreds of years throughout history, despite once being viewed as Divine beings, adored and respected by men + society
- Women deserve to have freedom and space to live the lives they were meant to live
- Women’s bodies are sacred, wise vessels that are key to creating your most joyful, fulfilling life
- Women’s bodies are more than ornaments
- Women and the resurrection of the Divine Feminine are key to seeing the shifts we crave in this world
- Non-stop productivity is not nearly as important as being present + experiencing pleasure
- Women’s bodies are more than just physical, they are energetic, emotional creatures
- Healing + living a full live is not a purely intellectual pursuit; there is so much more depth than that
- And so much more…
And to be more specific, given what lights me up, as my coaching shifts, the kind of work I’ll be focusing more heavily on is…you guessed it!…reconnecting women to their bodies + inner wisdom, helping them reclaim the power and unique paths, which includes coaching around the areas where so many of us women experience pain + suffering.
In more ‘concrete’ terms, this includes:
- Poor body image + constantly fighting the ‘weight battle’ (incl. unhealthy behaviors + attitudes toward diet/exercise)
- Sexuality and pleasure
- Intuition, trust, and decision-making
- Fatigue and exhaustion
- Feelings of powerlessness + not feeling ‘good enough’
- Boundaries (Constantly giving and saying ‘yes’ – sound familiar? Thought so)
- Trying to ‘be a lovelier version of a man’, feeling pressure to enter + be a high-performer in largely masculine environments (even if it’s not what you actually want to do…)
- Difficulty finding love or healthy relationships + sisterhood (true, deep female friendships)
- Feeling passionless in your career
Believe it or not, a lot of what I just talked about centers around your body + your physical, emotional, and mental energy. My body has played a critical role in my journey, which I’ll share a bit more about in future posts. (Hint: Contrary to popular belief, coaching around your body isn’t just about your weight.)
I have wanted to do this type of work since beginning to reconnect with my own body and seeing the enormous impact it has had (and continues to have) on my experience in this lifetime. My relationship to my body only continues to grow deeper and deeper.
I trust my message will continue to refine and become clearer as I do more and more of this work with others, but I would rather act with imperfect information than wait for my ‘perfect tagline’ to come forward before I start helping you.
So, with all that being said. I would absolutely LOVE to hear from you! Whether it be about a similar journey, any ‘a-ha’ moments you had while reading this post, which of these areas you struggle with most as a woman, or anything else. And as always, absolutely please let me know if you or anyone you know might need/want a little help in this area. Feel free to shoot me an email or leave a comment!
***And as one last final surprise for those of you who are hoping to get a little *super low-priced* coaching.*** It’s my birthday month (yay!), and this year I’ve been feeling not only the joy of receiving so much love and gifts, but I’ve been feeling extra generous as well.
I’ve offered 30 minute free coaching sessions a couple of times in the past, but this month, I’m getting a nudge to do something more…radical. SO, as a limited offer in celebration of my birthday, to combine my passion for both receiving and giving love, I am offering 5 beautiful souls a pay-what-you-want MONTH of coaching sessions in exchange for a testimonial. (Meaning you pay literally whatever you want for a month of coaching sessions. First 5 to pay are in!)
I adore little love exchanges like this, and this is coming from a place of pure divine inspiration that came to me earlier today, so please allow me to indulge both of us in this love-fest, and let me know if you’re interested and/or share it with someone who might be!
BIG BIG HUGS! (And happy ‘birthday month’ to me!)