Hi, I’m just a human being.
…and so is every other coach, inspirational person, celebrity, Insta-famous person, the person you can’t stand at work, the person who cut you off in traffic, the person who seems to have no problems in life, YOU, and well…everyone.
I burp + sing loudly in the car + cry + don’t smell like roses after I workout + sit in traffic + grocery shop.
I don’t always choose the healthiest foods, get 8-10 hours of sleep, and keep my house perfectly neat + tidy.
I don’t have a ‘perfect’ relationship with every relative or my partner.
I experience pain + definitely don’t know ‘The Way’.
I just know ‘a way’ that has worked really well for me + others, so I am enthusiastic about sharing it with those who feel it resonates with them, too, because of how much it’s positively changed my life.
I’m not here to convince, I’m here to serve.
I’m just a human wanting to help other humans, who has had a combination of professional + personal life experiences + who has gone out of her way to learn
as much as she possibly can beyond that (and continues to do so) so that she can make the world a better place to be.
And this goes for you, too.
Screw that BS dialogue that any of us have to be perfect and have it all figured out to deserve to feel worthy + good about ourselves or to be credible enough
to help others out or to go after a job or to start our own company or to be in a committed, loving, healthy relationship.
That’s just crazy, but once upon a time, I put my dreams + happiness on hold, too, until I felt I deserved it.
But the thing is that so long as I’m human, I’m going to be flawed and have room to grow, and so are you!
That’s the whole point of this journey of life: to learn, to connect, to grow + expand, to discover.
We’re not always going to be our ‘highest selves’. Sometimes, we’re just human.
This is ALL part of it.
We don’t need you to be ‘perfect’.
And this is something I had to let go of in order to have the courage to become a coach. I had to realize people aren’t expecting me to be without flaws, rather they want someone:
who ruthlessly believes in them + their ability to succeed,
who calls them out on their BS without hesitation,
who won’t disappear or give up on them,
who holds them accountable with compassion + kindness,
who has been there before + has struggled just like them,
who knows how hard it can feel,
who shows up each session or call with a full, deep, rich, loving presence,
who is actively doing the work in their lives, too, not just preaching,
who has grown + lives with intention and purpose and integrity…
these are all WAY more important than the impossible ideal of ‘perfect’.
And how did I know this?
I had to be honest with myself.
I’ve been a client, too – many times. Yet, I was holding myself to some crazy standard that I never once expected from someone else.
Where are you doing this to yourself?
Where are you wanting something but believing that you can’t have it or feel it until some other condition exists?
There is no “there”, there is no “utopia” or “final destination” that you get to if you do enough self-improvement or coaching or whatever.
In my own example, coaching + personal development has helped me make my life (and the lives of many thousands of people)
incredibly MORE sustainable, enjoyable, authentic, fulfilling, manageable + significantly less overwhelming, but no one ‘gets it right’ every time.
Sometimes, we know better, yet our imperfect humanity keeps us from acting in that way.
And that’s all a part of it.
Coaching + healing + meditation + all of this stuff does not have to be a way to give ourselves yet another standard of perfection to try to achieve.
Rather, it is a way to learn how to LOVE. IT. ALL.
To allow the ‘mistakes’ and ‘failures’ and ‘bitchiness’ and ‘sadness’ and ‘rage’ to live within us, too, and make space for them to exist,
to recognize that is part of the human journey.
It’s learning how to live life from a place of loving acceptance.
Meaning not that we have to turn everything into ‘love’ and only ever feel ‘love’, but that we can find a place within us that is capable of loving
every ‘less than perfect’ part of ourselves just as much as our ‘favorite qualities’ and living life + taking action
When I was able to start loving it all + see myself as worthy RIGHT NOW, I got to shift my goals from things like being a certain weight or having visible abs
(because those goals, for me, were based in ‘not enough-ness’ and a belief that having those things would make me ‘enough’)
to recognizing there’s a part of me that doesn’t feel worthy, understanding more about why that’s the case, loving the shit out of that part of me, letting it feel how it feels, and moving forward from there with a much clearer picture of what it is that I actually want.
And you know what? Those goals were no longer my top priorities in life.
Once I could hold myself in love, I didn’t need abs to get love.
We don’t need to be ‘enlightened’ to feel love, to create joy, to receive abundance, to make a difference in the world, to follow our dreams, or to feel ‘good enough’.
Don’t feel to be ‘spiritual’ or ‘evolved’ means ONLY ever feeling ‘love + light’. That was never the point. (But in our society, it’s what it has become.)
We’re collectively afraid of the darkness, afraid of the hard times, afraid of our ‘ugly’ qualities…
which leaves us afraid of ourselves.
When we cannot accept, love, and embrace ALL of who we are, even those parts we’ve been taught to feel ashamed about or hide,
we are not loving in wholeness.
We are loving fragmented, cherry-picked pieces of ourselves that we’ve been ‘given permission’ to reveal + embrace.
So let me ask you – what about you have you struggled to embrace in love? What have you ‘made wrong’ about yourself + your fullest expression?
I invite you to decide today to allow yourself to be human,
to stop fearing the darkness, and to use your ‘mistakes’ and ‘imperfections’ as tools, gifts, learning lessons,
or just opportunities to recognize you CAN’T control everything around you, but that you can choose to approach it all with loving acceptance, letting its existence simply Be, rather than feeling that you are inherently broken + wrong.
Lastly, I also invite you to free yourself from the need to be ‘perfect’ if you feel caught in that trap.
None of us are perfect. None. Of. Us. And I no longer believe I have to be, which is a blessing, because for most of my life, I did think that.
The crappy thing about perfect is that because it doesn’t exist, we never get to celebrate, we never get to feel ‘enough’, it’s believing we must ‘stay hungry’ lest we risk complacency.
Striving for perfection causes us to operate from an eternal emptiness, the belief that if we allow ourselves to feel ‘enough’, to fill that void in rather than motivate ourselves with it, that our lives will fall apart.
We sometimes DEPEND on that void to make us feel like:
“OK, even if I’m not ‘there’ yet, at least I’m hustling my ass off to eventually get there. One day, one day… Just keep grinding… It will all be worth it.”
But the thing is, is that we all define ‘perfect’ differently, and our own definitions shift over time, so you’re working toward an amorphous, undefined goal that you will literally never achieve.
So free yourself from perfect, and let yourself be human. And if you need more help to do that, I’m your gal.
You’ve got this. <3
As always, feel free to share this with anyone who may find it helpful, and I look forward to hearing how it helps you.
P.S. If you need some help with this (or other related topics) and are interested in possibly working together, leave a comment below or click ‘Contact’ above, and let’s get talkin’!