I grew up my whole life as a ‘high-achiever’
(whatever that really means, honestly)
And many of the people I work with in my coaching practice are self-identified high-achievers, as well.
However, I often find a common thread amongst those of us who have spent our entire lives getting praised + recognized for our brilliance, our work ethic, our drive, our performance…
(All really awesome, valuable qualities – no doubt!)
Many of us have have lost sight of the parts of us that have nothing to do with our intelligence or the hours put in working or the drive or performance.
And by lost sight, I mean that we don’t value these parts of ourselves as much.
Our identities are wrapped up in being this person who gets it all done, who crushes it, who never misses a beat, who CAN do what everyone says can’t be done, who doesn’t cut him/herself any slack…
that we neglect (abhor, even) the parts of us that get in the way of that.
We feel worthless + beat ourselves up whenever we ‘fail’ at fighting off those parts of ourselves.
As humans, we inherently desire love, belonging, acceptance, praise, recognition, respect, etc.
So when we learn that output + achievement is our ‘sure ticket’ to make sure we get our fill of these things, we focus on this as much as possible.
And anything else, anything that isn’t linked to this identity, is considered a liability, a danger, something that is going to destroy the YEARS (decades) of hard work we’ve put into place to ensure we’ve earned our place in the world.
I get this because this is how I grew up.
I felt that if I could hide all the pieces of me that weren’t embraced by the world around me and just focus on one achievement after the next, that I would always be welcome + deserve to be happy.
I’d get the smile, the praise, the recognition, the acceptance…
The thing is, that it’s a race that never ends.
You have to keep achieving, keep exceeding the bar you set before, keep pushing harder, making more, doing more…
Good enough isn’t definable, it’s a feeling-state. A call that we each get to make for ourselves.
But rather than being kind to ourselves, many of us do not give ourselves the same grace we so freely dole out to others. Our ‘good enough’ bar is set so high, that it keeps us hungry.
But what if we didn’t have to be hungry?
What if we allowed ourselves to be good enough right NOW?
What if we built a relationship with the parts of ourselves that that have nothing to do with output or achievement, and we embraced them with LOVE?
What if we decided that until we felt worthy of love, belonging, acceptance, joy, etc. that no person or thing or achievement was going to ever be able to give it to us?
What if the greatest achievement of being a human is to be able to love ALL the parts of you, to embrace the things others say you should hate about yourself, and move through life, doing whatever it is that you do, from that place?
What if you didn’t have to earn your existence on this planet or hustle for your worth? What, then, would you choose to do with your time + energy + this precious life of yours?
Some see working on ourselves as a selfish pursuit, but
the more we can embrace the full spectrum of light + darkness within ourselves,
the more we can find a way to love what isn’t typically ‘accepted’,
the more we can believe that our job on earth is not to prove ourselves but to grow, evolve, love and help one another do the same…
the more we shine that light out into the world in every breath, every action, every word.
Whether or not we realize it, what’s on the inside is what comes out, in some form or another.
So if you’ve been looking to improve your own sense of self-worth but have felt like it’s pointless or a waste, now’s your time.
You deserve to feel good in your body, in your relationships, in your career, in all areas of life, no matter where or who or what you are now.
As an FYI: I have some 1-on-1 coaching spots available in my calendar and currently doing consultations to fill those. If you’ve been reading these emails + my social media posts but feel ready to take things to the next level, schedule a free 30 minute chat with me!
You’ve got this. <3
As always, feel free to share this with anyone who may find it helpful, and I look forward to hearing how it helps you.
P.S. If you need some help with this (or other related topics) and are interested in possibly working together, leave a comment below or hit ‘Contact’ above, and let’s get talkin’!