We’re all telling ourselves a story of some kind.
Many times, when people hear things like – “You can create a career that you’re deeply passionate about, that you enjoy. You can get paid to do the thing(s) you love to do.” – it goes in direct contrast with their current ‘story’.
The things they grew up being told by their family + the world around them. Things that are not even close to that story.
So in response, people sometimes will retort things like: “OK, well I’d like to get paid to just sit on the couch all day and watch TV. Can I do THAT?!”
But my personal perspective is that in 99.9% of cases, that is…
A retort like that is likely just a defense mechanism.
It’s a way to instantly shut down something that opens another door that someone would rather keep closed. To believe this is as good as it gets, and to keep from letting this talk of possibilities + change from ruining the reality they’ve created for themselves.
Most people (myself included) don’t ACTUALLY want to do something like sit around and watch TV all day, every day.
For many of us, things TV are a way to numb, to escape… a coping mechanism. (Which is OK in healthy doses, btw!)
But if more of us were living deeply fulfilling lives and truly had the freedom to choose our career + the skills to leverage that freedom, we likely wouldn’t choose something like “TV 24/7” as our ‘life path’.
For many of us, binging on anything (not just TV) is a form of escape, from something bigger that we don’t want to confront, a deeper level of unhappiness.
We’d rather watch someone else’s struggles than face our own.
We desire to be fulfilled, but many of us are often afraid of the things we know will truly fulfill us + what it might take to get there, so we settle for ‘diet’ or ‘lite’ versions of fun.
Things like excessive consumption of TV or social media, spending money mindlessly, playing video games until 4AM, etc.
And since none of this truly satiates us, we end up needing more and more and more of it, and STILL never truly feel full…
The eternal hunger of an appetite met by anything other than what the original, true craving was asking for.
But we have the opportunity to decide, to change + create a new reality.So, what is the story that you want to live by? What is the story that you want to write + tell yourself? What is the story that you would like to create?
Write that down + get a clear picture in your mind.
Now, imagine. What if you lived your life according to that story being true?
Rather than living it based on all the baggage from the past about how you’re lazy, stupid, unworthy, a failure, undeserving, incapable, etc.?
You may think: “Oh, well then what if I am overly confident in my dreams + I fail? What if I don’t achieve those goals + make a fool out of myself?”
To that: I have much to say. Two key points being:
– By living in a mindset of believing in yourself + your ability / capacity to succeed, you’re much more likely to succeed in SOMETHING. Even if it’s not exactly the picture you had drawn out, perhaps something even better comes along that looks different than you could’ve even imagined, that only exists because you took the steps toward the original dream + met someone or learned something along the way that forever pivoted your direction. If you don’t believe something is possible, it likely won’t happen.
– Living in this mindset will likely fill your life with a heck of a lot less anxiety, worry, stress, + pain than living a life where you choose to give more power to the idea that you’re a failure + unworthy + trapped than you do to your ability to succeed + your immense value + that you can choose differently.
All that being said, another common thing that I see, is that:
Many of us are afraid to put our truest selves on the line because we often think: if I fail, does that mean that who I really am doesn’t matter?
We’re afraid that by putting ourselves out there we might realize what we’ve feared all along, is true:
That who we truly are, our most authentic selves, our deepest sacred dreams, our soul, our passions… don’t matter.
This is one of the reasons why many of us work day-in and day-out for our entire lives at jobs that we hate or can barely tolerate because inside, they believe they can’t, they shouldn’t, they’re not worthy or capable, that whatever they want to do isn’t good enough…
Essentially, that whatever their dreams are: people don’t care.
And you’re probably right.
Most people don’t deeply believe in your ability to achieve your current dreams right now.
But that’s because you don’t believe it either!
People are going to treat your dreams in response to the way that you talk about them.
You talk about them like a pipe-dream? Then… most people will probably feel the same way in response.
Talk about them like it’s really going to happen? Sure, some people may make fun of you (likely those who have their own fears + challenges around confidence and faith in their own dreams), but anyone who actually has gone after their dreams and/or believes that it’s possible, they’ll believe you. They may say “Good for you, that’s awesome!” even if they don’t love or agree or or understand what you’re doing.
People cannot be passionate about our dreams if we don’t inject our own passion into them.
Think about any good idea that’s ever happened. The person or people who created these things had to inject their own passion into it + believe in it (and themselves) ruthlessly. They could not rely on the passion or faith of others to give them permission to go forth + create
You know how many people who didn’t believe in them they had to deal with in order to get there? Or how much rejection or mockery or humiliation they had to face every time they shared their story? Or how many pivots + transitions their dreams and ideas went through?
Enough to build up an immense resiliency in what they were creating, and most importantly, in themselves. So much so that their success seems *overnight* to much of the world + pulls out the rug from underneath them, including those who mocked them in their attempts.
Nearly every person who succeeded in creating something amazing made mistakes along the way. This is why so few people dare to be innovators… many of us do not desire or cannot bear the thought of making mistakes + taking chances without some success being a *sure thing*, that this will work.
And now, I turn the mic to you, and I ask you – what is the story that you’re going to live by + what’s the story you’re going to write as a result of that?
There’s no right or wrong answer, but I invite you to choose the one that is most deeply empowering to you!
And remember… “Always make new mistakes.” ~ Esther Dyson
You’ve got this. <3
As always, feel free to share this with anyone who may find it helpful, and I look forward to hearing how it helps you.
P.S. If you need some help with this (or other related topics) and are interested in possibly working together, leave a comment below or hit ‘Contact’ above, and let’s get talkin’!